Many of our community are in a couple & decide to start a family. It can be difficult to make the decision of what path to take, & if birthing a child is important some can find it hard to make the decision on who will carry. In some cases, there may be a partner who has no desire to carry, or has fertility issues so ia unable to.

However it is more commonplace now that both partners (if financially viable & there isn’t infertility) carry a baby. This means that both are a ‘Biological’ & ‘Non Biological’ mother or parent. Or there is the option of ‘Reciprocal IVF’ or ‘Shared parenthood’ where one donates their egg & the other carries the pregnancy, so both are involved in the creation of baby.

Some people decide that as an LGBT+ person who is not in a relationship, they have a desire to have children. They are happy doing so by themselves, &/or do not want to put off their journey to parenthood so do so by choice on their own. Many of our community do so either alone, or some started their journey with a partner & continued it after separation by themselves.

Co-parenting is when two or more people agree to conceive & raise a child together when they are not in a relationship.

Each person may have their own partner, so it's possible that a child has more than two parents or carers. In the UK a child can only have two legal parents, even if more adults are involved in their up-bringing.

If a man in a same-sex relationship donates his sperm to a single person with the intention of co-parenting any resulting child, it is likely that he will be treated as the child’s legal father. If named on the birth certificate, he will also have parental responsibility for the child, and so the right to be involved in key decision-making in the child’s upbringing, & the same if he donates to a couple.

Those involved in the arrangement may wish to consider exploring their options and putting in place a co-parenting agreement.

If there is a breakdown in the co-parenting relationship, a court will have powers to make orders in the best interests of the child. The various parties involved may have different rights to make different types of applications to the court, depending on the circumstances.

The legal position regarding co-parenting arrangements where a man/same-sex couple donates sperm to a female couple is more complex.

Following the changes implemented by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008, female couples who are in a civil partnership, or who are married when they conceive with donated sperm will automatically become legal parents of the child.

In this situation, the biological father would not be considered a legal parent but would be able to apply for parental responsibility.

If the female couple he is donating to are not civil partners, the rules differ. If the child is conceived through a UK licensed fertility clinic the mothers would be able to choose whether they wish the child’s second parent to be the father or the non-birth mother. If the child is conceived outside a UK licensed fertility clinic, the biological father is likely to be viewed as the second legal parent.

Such situations are complex and legal advice is recommended.

There are some people who decide that they would like to have a child or multiple children with i.e. another couple; For example a person or couple decide to have a child with another couple or individual (ie a lesbian couple with a gay male couple). In these situations, the ‘birth’ parent & the donor would be considered the legal parents unless he relinquished his rights & any of the other parties decided to adopt the child (second parent adoption).

However some co-parenting families have a ‘letter of intent’ drawn up, but this does not cover them by law- it is more as document of their ‘agreement’ in how they will raise the child or children & access. There are many families like this worldwide who happily & successfully coparent- however it is always best to seek legal advice should you wish to go down this route.

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved. ’Poly’ families are people who love each other and have decided to create a family or form families together.

Poly families are becoming increasingly popular & many live a positive &harmonious life. Some already have children from prior relationships, or some decide to start a family together- either with one or more carrying a child or through alternative routes.

When you get into a new relationship with a woman who already has children, it can be a daunting time. “Will they like me"?” “What if we don’t get on?” “How will I fit into their family life"? “They’ll never accept me!”

There are so many emotions that you will go through when you become a Step-mum, Step-mom or stepparent. Whether you do not yet have children so are just becoming a part of their family, or if you already have children too so are bringing your children into a new family- it can be difficult and testing.

You need to be yourself, and try to read how they react; what they like & don’t like, & take an interest in their life- their hobbies, their school and their passions. They may not ‘accept’ you as their step-mom overnight. Depending on how their family split prior to your arrival it could be a difficult time for them you being introduced as their new ‘Mama’ or parent. If it was an acrimonious split, they may resent you & even blame you for the split-even if you were not involved in any way! But their feelings may be delicate in dealing with change, and you will need too be patient- think of it as a ‘marathon’ rather than a ‘sprint’.

All you can do is trust in you & your new partner that you can navigate through together. Ensuring you are both on the same page as to how you slot into family life & where you sit in regards to disciplining her child/children is crucial; you both need to work together to ensure it is a ‘team approach’ and the child or children can see that there is no chance of creating a divide to get their own way, or in some cases affect your relationship before it has begun.

You will need to involve them in the process; when you gain an understanding of who they are & what they like you can then tailor family fun days for you all to go out together- then they will start to warm to you and understand why their Mum/Mom/parent loves you!

If you are struggling with being a Step-Parent to your partner’s children & feel like you need further support & someone to talk to, please reach out via our social channels or email and we will be happy to listen & support you.

As a trans or Non-Binary person, you may be looking to become a parent or looking to the future where you may want to have children at a later date. Many people decide to preserve their fertility & freeze their eggs or gametes so that when they decide to have children either by themselves, with a partner or via a surrogate, the child will be genetically related to them.

If you are in the process of taking hormone therapy, to do this you will need to come off your medication (your clinic can provide information regarding how long you would need to do so) or if you are looking to start you will need to delay taking any medication until you have successfully had your eggs or gametes collected & frozen.

If you would like to store your eggs, sperm, embryos or reproductive tissue the current UK storage period is ten years but it can be extended to up to fifty-five years if you are, or are likely to become, prematurely infertile, for example as a result of hormone therapy or genital reconstructive surgery. Your clinic should advise you how to give consent to your storage being extended beyond 10 years.